Acceptance

Finding acceptance

I thought seeing as I have just reached my 37th birthday, I thought i would reflect on my time with MS. I have tried to make it my bitch to no avail, so I have went down the route of acceptance, a route I fought like most sufferers.

I understand now, it's the lifestyle changes you make, that you have to make that keep you a bit more comfortable, these changes have to be embraced. I don’t do the whole getting wasted anymore, I’m a bit too old for that now.  I do however, enjoy my takeaway food...basically all that's bad for you if you read Dr Wahls books but I have cut down but struggling to stop completely. My walking has went to the dogs, so has my muscle tone or lack not to mention not being able to sleep. So gone are the rides in my Mustang of late and hello to spending some good quality time with my track suit bottoms....I swear I feel my life blood being sucked out of me when I pull these mothers on!!

So on reflection, I realised there is a very specific theme present throughout the entirety of my thoughts.  Acceptance.  Yes, just that one oh-so-simple word… Acceptance.

What did I need to accept in my life?

Let me give you some background to this…

Ok, so I walk funny, and yeah I talk funny sometimes, too.  Did you notice those massive intention tremors?  I also have a thing now that I nickname the 'Death Grip', mainly just noticed this week, on picking things up sometimes, I struggle to release my grip. My balance is non existent, restless legs, pins and needles....are you still here?

That is not an extensive list of symptoms but it gives you an insight, I maybe can't do all I did before, so I guess just because my super powers make certain things in my life more difficult, it doesn’t mean I can’t live a full life

Acceptance...

I have accepted my abilities.  I do embrace what my body can do.  I try to push my own limits and test my fears while still respecting my abilities.  My acceptance comes not only from other individuals surrounding me but also from within myself.

I guess that’s what this journey is all about anyway, right?  Finding peace from within?  I suppose my journey began to show me ways in which I needed to grow in order to not become complacent.  I probably needed my ego shot down a few notches as well but that’s beside the point!

Although I always said I accepted myself the way I was no matter what happened, did I really?  Nah.  So I was placed on a journey. I was placed on the road that was a bit rockier than the road I envisioned.

My road sure as hell isn't easy…

But at least I’m finding that peace and acceptance!

But of course I have many things to be thankful for...and we all should not loose sight of the fact...whenever you feel life has dealt you a curve ball or everything seems to be going wrong...things could always be a lot worse!!