Movie Review: The Theatre Bizarre

In the tradition of movies like George Romero’s Creepshow, Creepshow 2, Trilogy of Terror and Body Bags comes The Theatre Bizarre, a collection of six short films with plenty of blood to fling around. The film opens with a woman who enters an abandoned theatre and encounters Udo Kier, playing an automaton host who introduces these six stories to an audience of just one.

Mother of Toads is the first story, about a gypsy who entices a young man with the promise of getting his hands on a copy of the fabled Necronomicon. He takes the bait, leaving his girlfriend behind at their hotel and discovers too late that he must pay for his curiosity. The actors portraying the young couple do what they can with fairly bland roles, but it really is MacColl’s piece.

I Love You tells the story of a married couple, of which the husband is a bit obsessive. Basically a two-hander, the film is a fifteen minute argument about why their relationship is ending and it’s about as exciting as it sounds. I respect this conceptually, but it’s in dire need of some emotional shading and depth. There is no reason why this man loves this woman so much when she is so terrible to him. The two actors who carry the short are fine, but the problem lies in the script, and the “twist” ending is unnecessary.

Wet Dreams follows with a similar tale of a disintegrating relationship that is drowning in dreams, deception and deceit. Tom Savini who directs and stars alongside B-horror queen Debbie Rochon are fine in their respective roles. However, the story of a man plagued by nightmares of his wife is muddy and is let down by some bad audio and fairly flat photography outside of the dream sequences, which aren’t very creepy or inspired. For gore fans though it there.

The Accident is the real standout in this collection. A young girl witnesses a fatal motorcycle accident while on a drive with her mother. Naturally, she is curious about the hows and whys of death and what follows is a really nice meditation on life, death and a child’s natural fascination with the unknown. There is some great acting on display in this segment, it has a nice style about it, and is the most relatable in terms of its story.

Next up, Vision Stains follows a young woman who murders homeless people to extract the vitreous fluid from their eyeballs in order to tell their stories so they are not forgotten by time. This interesting concept is lost among its focus on shocking scenes. While the story is fascinating at the start, they should have exploited the concept in a more meaningful way.

The film’s last segment is Sweets, yet another tale of a crumbling relationship. The stylized flashbacks into the relationship are nice and tell an odd story, but it tries too hard to be quirky. However, I can respect it for its concept and the style it exhibits.

Because a different director helms each segment, this creates a disjointed feeling that doesn’t do the film any favors. The format begs for some cohesion when you don’t have a continuous narrative to follow. A few of the stories are thematically too similar to have much impact after the first, and by the time you’ve seen the same story for the third time, I don’t see the point. However, The Accident is strong and Udo Kier is interesting as always.

So there you have it, not as shocking as "The ABC's Of Death" but can still pack a punch when you least expect it.

The Theatre Bizarre - Movie Trailer